


Symbol of Being a Man, or Something Like That

by InsomniacTiger



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Edward Elric Swears, Havoc Really is Trying to Be Nice, Roy Probably Won't Start a Fire in His Own Office
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-17
Updated: 2019-09-17
Packaged: 2020-10-20 15:40:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20677817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsomniacTiger/pseuds/InsomniacTiger
Summary: Ed just wants to know what he has to do to prove he's not just a kid, and Havoc has an idea.





	Symbol of Being a Man, or Something Like That

**Author's Note:**

> Its been so long since I have written anything, but of course it would be Ed that would drag me back. And coffee. Always a lot of coffee.

“I just don’t understand why I have to be here this early. Nothing Mustang is going to give us can’t wait another hour or two. The trains aren’t even running till nine!” Ed grumbled stretching his arms again.

“Brother, military personnel have to report at seven-thirty. Lieutenant Hawkeye said so at the orientation she gave you last week.”

“Well its past that already.”

“I tried to wake you at seven, but you threw my head out the window!”

“I said I was sorry Al!”

“Do you know how hard it is to find something without eyes!?”

“AL! I won’t do it again!”

“And there were bugs in it by the time I found it!”

Ed stopped in the middle of the hallway turning to face his younger brother. “Alphonse. I said I was sorry. I said I wouldn’t do it again. And I said not to wake me up at seven!”

Before Al could respond he heard a throat clear behind them. Two men in military uniforms were staring at them with unimpressed looks. Realizing that they were in fact blocking the hallway they moved to stand along the wall.

“Excuse us.” Al offered.

One of the men just snorted and kept walking down the hall with his companion. “Who let some damn kids in here?”

“Seriously. This is the military, not a daycare.”

Nervously Al looked down at his brother, not sure how Ed would react to that. He knows Ed’s well aware that being thirteen made him stick out in these halls more than that red coat of his did anywhere else. The older Elric shoved his hands in his coat pockets and started for the Colonel’s office.

Kicking the door open he landed himself in a chair next to where Kain was working. They liked everyone in the office well enough, but Al had commented more than once that Kain Fuery seemed like a nice person. Which Ed was inclined to agree with. Though really, they all seemed nice enough. How Mustang was lucky enough to get any of them to work for him was a mystery.

“Hey Ed.” Breda nodded. “I got an extra sandwich, you want it?”

“Yeah thanks!” Once he was nearly finished, he glanced around the office. “Where’s the Lieutenant and the Bastard?”

“Brother.”

Ed glanced over his shoulder giving Al a smirk. Calling the Colonel names was a developing habit that the younger Elric was hoping wouldn’t stick. But knowing his brother, it was likely only to get worse as he learned new names. Alphonse wasn’t sure, but he had a suspicion that Havoc was supplying some of these names.

“They had a meeting this morning. Should be back any - ”

The door opened and in entered someone who looked vaguely familiar to Ed.

“Major General Halcrow, sir!” All the men in uniform leapt to stand at attention.

“Something we can do for you sir?” Havoc asked.

Halcrow gave the room a once over with a disapproving frown, his gaze finally landing on the giant suit of armor and red clad teenager still sitting in their chairs. “Does your CO run a babysitting service out of his office everyday Second Lieutenant?”

“No sir. Major Elric is a State Alchemist, sir.”

Watching them all stand at attention for so long was making Ed uncomfortable for them. And pissing him off. While Mustang was a jerk, he didn’t treat his people like this. Who was this asshole anyway?

“Who the hell is this?” Ed hopped to his feet, the chain of his pocket watch jingling.

The twitch to Breda’s lips told him that he was properly being a shit military dog.

“This is the Major General Halcrow, you met on the train incident about a year ago, Major Elric sir.”

Ed wrinkled his nose as he turned to inspect the Major General. “Gross. Don’t use my rank.”

“Would you prefer Fullmetal Alchemist, sir?”

“Stop with the ‘sirs’ too.”

Halcrow cleared his throat. “If you two are done acting like children, I actually came here for a reason. Well I guess the _Major_can’t help being a child.”

“WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO LITTLE - ”

“Brother _no_!” Al grabbed Ed around the waist so his flailing fists were only in danger of hitting his armor.

“You should tell Mustang that if he can’t keep his dog on a tighter leash maybe he should teach him - ”

“What was it you wanted to tell me Major General sir?” Roy stepped into the office, Hawkeye at his side.

Halcrow grunted. “Simply that you need to teach you subordinates some manners. If you’re going to keep children here at least give them some toys to keep them quiet.”

Al decided to just cover Ed’s mouth till the newcomer left.

“Major Elric was granted the title State Alchemist by the Führer himself. If the _Führer_has faith in his abilities, I think we all should. Don’t you?”

“Indeed.” Halcrow gave Ed one more disdainful glance before leaving.

Once the door was securely closed everyone gave a sigh of relief. Except Al who wasn’t too sure that his brother could be trusted yet.

“Alphonse, I’m sure Edward would like to breathe again.” Hawkeye nodded heading toward her desk to organize her notes. “And Edward, maybe stop growling. You are starting to sound like Hayate.”

Quickly setting his brother down he fluttered his hands nervously around him till Ed waved him off.

“Hey Mustang! You let people come in here and talk to you and your people like that?!”

“This is the military Fullmetal, your part of it now. You best get used to it.” Roy huffed as he marched over to his desk before reclining in his chair.

“Well that’s a load of shit!”

“Brother…”

“No Al! Did you hear how he - ”

“_Fullmetal_.”

Ed turned to glare at his Commanding Officer.

“If you don’t want to be treated like a child, you need to stop acting like one.”

“Well if you don’t want to be treated like an - ”

“Hey Ed, why don’t you come with me real quick?” Havoc offered pointing a thumb over his shoulder toward the door.

A nod from Hawkeye assured him that maybe stepping outside with the Second Lieutenant was a good idea just now.

They were the only two in the break room, but it _was_only eight-thirty. Havoc had started brewing a fresh pot of coffee while Ed kicked around the cooler looking for a soda, but ended up grabbing a can of cranberry juice. He wasn’t a nutritionist or anything, but he remembered reading that cranberry juice was basically the best. Or something. It was better than milk anyway.

“You know Ed, if you want people to stop treating you like a kid, you just need to prove that you’re a man.”

“Yeah?” Ed grumbled wiping extra juice from the corner of his mouth. “How the hell am I supposed to do that?”

Havoc chuckled. “Well your vocabulary is getting you half way there. And I am _never_going to tell you to respect the Colonel - ”

“Colonel Fat Ass.”

“Because I know that’s a lost cause. You need a little something… to convince people to give you a bit more respect.”

“I could alchemize tiny little spikes into the floor in random patterns, and only tell like Al and Hawkeye where they are. When we are the only ones who don’t have injured feet, they have to respect us for not hopping around like dying rabbits.”

“You wouldn’t tell me?!”

Ed smirked.

“And here I am trying to help you!” Havoc grumbled drinking some of his coffee.

“I guess… that would be a pretty immature joke though.”

“It would.”

“So, what do I have to do to prove I’m …” Ed sighed. “… not just a kid?”

“Just go out and be a man.”

“What does _that_mean?”

“Do something like a rite of passage into manhood, then these other guys will lay off a bit more.”

Ed’s eyes got huge. “Like… kill someone? Cause I won’t! You military folk are all sick bastards!” He began to stomp off.

“Hey take it easy there Hotshot!” Havoc grabbed the hood of his jacket. “That’s not at _all _what I meant!”

“Then _what the hell do you mean_?! I am a scientist Havoc! I need facts! What did you do to feel like a grown man? Or Breda? Or even Mustang?!”

“Simple, we go out into town and - ” Pausing he looked over Ed again. “Remind me again, how old are you really?”

“The point of all of this is to look past that.”

“Humor me.”

“Thirteen.”

“Right. Never mind.”

“No, finish your sentence. It was your first thought, so it was probably more valid than whatever garbage you’re going to try and cover it with. You guys go into town and do what?”

Staring into those fiery gold eyes Havoc racked his brain trying to think of something more appropriate than what almost slipped out. Needing an excuse to have a few more seconds to think he took a sip from his cup.

“Coffee!” He suddenly exclaimed, then nodded sagely. “We drink coffee.”

“Coffee?” Ed glanced over at the pot that was making hissing noises as it settled. “But… isn’t that… really bitter?”

“That’s adult drinks for you. Bitter. Of course, with coffee you can add sugar and milk into it to make it taste better.”

“Hell no. Milk is the worst. If this is what it takes then I can drink some damn coffee.”

“You’ve never had it before?”

“No. You guys are so addicted to the shit I assumed it was a drug. Like you and smoking.”

“I wouldn’t drink too much for your first time. If you’re not used to it, the caffeine can hit you hard. Especially someone so…”

Ed turned to glare at him, fumes basically coming out his ears.

“Someone so young.”

“Yeah right.” He sipped at the liquid. “Huh. Actually. That’s not the worst thing ever.”

They waited till Jean had finished his first cup so he could get a refill before slipping back into the office. While Havoc handed out a cup of coffee to each of them, Ed followed Roy into his office, crumpling the now empty paper cup in his automail hand before shutting the door.

“I’m impressed Jean, how did calm down the kid?” Breda asked.

There was the creak of Al’s helmet turning to look at the blonde man.

Shrugging he replied. “I just gave him some coffee.”

“Lieutenant,” Hawkeye paused in front of his desk. “Are you telling me that you gave a thirteen-year-old boy, who has a tendency of getting excitable as it is, a cup of pure caffeine?”

“Nah, the kid probably diluted it with a bunch of sugar and stuff.”

“No… Brother wouldn’t. He’s not overly fond of sweets. Something bitter would be ok with him.”

“Yeah, he just took it black.” Havoc nodded.

Hawkeye sighed.

Something in the Colonel’s office exploded.

“LETS GO AL!” Ed came flying out of the office heading straight for the hall.

“Sorry Colonel!” Al cried out as he followed his brother.

“What are you apologizing for?!”

“I don’t know! Whatever you did!”

“How do you know I _did_anything?!”

“Then why are we running?!”

Havoc tried not to laugh as Mustang came tromping out of his office, shredded paper making confetti in his hair and on his uniform.

“Would that be the orders sending Edward to the west, sir?”

“It would seem,” Roy glared at the door that was still open. “That Fullmetal has suddenly become much more of a morning person.”

There was a moment of silence.

“Jean gave him coffee.” Breda finally blurted.

“Thanks a lot!” Havoc yelped as Roy reached into his pocket to pull on a glove.

“You have two seconds Lieutenant.”


End file.
